15th - November - 2009
Well today was stressful. My boss was constantly on my back, I got a parcking ticket and to top it all of Erica happend again! I got a call from school, it must have been about 1pm, I was just about to go on my lunch break...
"Hello, Mrs. Sanders? I need you to come into school right away. Its about your daughter Erica"
Great... i thought. what had she done now? I sat there and made a mental list in my head, Skived? Done that. Back chat? Happend. Forgot her homework? All the time! When I finially got to school I was VERY suprised...
"Your daughter was caught stealing from the school lunch hall today" Headmaster Becks told me. I was speachless, Erica's always been trouble and hard work but stealing? Thankfully Mrs. Becks didn't take any further action. The drive home was very awkward and quiet. I had to say something, anything to break the ice.
"So, how was school?" I blurted.
"Was that supposed to be a joke?" Erica spat. I had to think quickly. Erica wasn't happy and one bad move would send her into an erruption again. I deffiently didn't want that!
"You know hunny, if you ever need to talk..."
"Save it! We havent been able to 'talk' in years." she interrupted. I decided to rephrase my last comment...
"Look. I know things have been rough these few years but I'm still your Mother and you're still my Erica! I'm always here for you!"
"Just like you were there for dad? No! You weren't you walked out on him! Now you've even replaced him! You know how much I loved dad and how much I hate Jim! If you cared about me at all you'd see how unhappy I am and make everything go back to normal! Before dad left." She screamed at me. She was silent after that, so was I. I didn't know what to say, Erica had never spoke to me like that before. Well, she'd spoken to me like that but never saying those words! I'd always known she wasn't happy but i had no idea.
I suddenly felt guilty, which soon turned to anger! She had no idea what i went through while i was with her Father. We argued all the time, we had nothing in common and despite all that we didn't love each other anymore. Our divorce was a decision we made together! How dare she blame it all on me?
"What about me? Don't you want me to be happy? I wasn't happy with your Father and as hard as this is for believe, I am with Jim and if you took a step out of the seflish little world you've created for yourself you'd see just how nice he is! He's never wanted to be your Father he's just wanted to be there for you just like I do! When was the last time your Father tried being there for you?" I didn't mean for the words to come out quite like they had, but i just couldn't stop myself. She was so caught up in her own little thoughts about how hard her life is, how horrible her mum is dating this evil stepfather. She had to be pulled back into reality!
We didn't speak for the rest of the car journey, or the rest of the night for that matter.