"Alex?" I started after a long silence, looking over at his sullen expression. He stared straight ahead, not bothering to answer me.
"Alex, please. You know what I'm going to say," I pleaded. "Don't make me say it." We turned onto the dirt path leading to our meadow and there was a burst of wind. A few golden leaves danced from the trees, the first sign of fall. Also a sign of an early winter. I grimaced. I guess you could say that winter was always a hard time for me, but could anyone really blame me?
Alex tensed next to me, and I knew he was thinking the same thing I was. Neither of us liked this time of year.
Finally he sighed and turned to face me, holding my shoulders to stop me from walking. He looked me straight in the eye and I saw his emotions boiling. He was amazing at holding his feelings in, especially when he had so many conflicting emotions, that I felt bad for him sometimes. But we both knew it wasn't healthy, that he didn't to express them or he would explode. Sometimes he did, and I was hoping that his wan't one of those times.
"Jade, I know. I know you don't like what is happening with me and Sarah, but it is something you're going to have to learn to accept," he said surprisingly calm. I shook my head.
"But that's what you don't understand! It's just you. Sarah doesn't even know about us and I don't want her to know about us." I spun on my heels and continued walking for a few more minutes in silence. Alex followed a step behind me, his hands in his pockets.
We reached the meadow shortly after that, and I scanned the perimeter to make sure no one else was around. Then I walked to the center and sat down. Alex plopped down across from me with his eyes glued to the ground. I just watched him for a few minutes, waiting for him to say something. He didn't say anything. His mouth opened a few times like he was about to speak, but he shut it time after time.
"Alex, you know what I'm saying, right?" I asked gently, and his eyes leveled with mine. But he stayed quiet. "You know it won't ever happen- it cannot happen. Period." His lips twitched, but he nodded once. I reached my hand out to his, and he took it, lightly placing his in mine.
"Now, let's try to solidify," I instructed, closing my eyes.