School is horrible without you. Erica, Jessie, and Jason just don’t understand. When you left, they were in my world too, upset and missing you for a short while. And then they just continue with life as if nothing had happened. Why are they acting like this? Have they just forgotten you in the snap of a finger? Or is it just me who’s being left behind, not being able to move on? I don’t know who to blame, Matt. Whether it’s myself or the people around me who are able to move on; who act like you’re death was just a passing cloud. It hasn’t quite changed them the way it has changed me.
Closing my locker, I shifted my textbooks to my other free hand and walked through the halls to my next class, Literature. “Today, we’re starting our unit on Romeo and Juliet.” Either it was meant to be or just pure bad luck for me today.
Ms. Jackson turned off all the lights in the room and started a movie of Shakespeare’s life. She thought we had to first know the history and perspectives of a writer to understand the sentiment they have with their book. With my hands drumming along the surface of the table, I waited for the end of class in complete monotony.
“Lillian. Come on, let’s go,” Jason called out to me.
I followed him out of class and out the parking lot in silence. My house was on the same neighborhood as Jason’s so he often gave me a ride. It used to be Matt, well now it was him. When we got close to his silver Porsche I decided to walk home today.
“Jason, I don’t need a ride.”
“Why? Are you going with someone else?” He asked.
“No, I’m just going to walk home.”
“Alright…I’ll see you around then.”
Jason usually didn’t give in this easily but nowadays, I’ve been walking home alone quite often. So he’d just given hope on convincing me to get a ride with him.
“I’ll see you Monday then.”
“Right,” I muttered then saying goodbye, walked off. I’d totally forgotten that the weekend had started which meant that I was just going to stay in my room and muse to myself and stare out the window, thinking of the past. Mom was not going to like that. She never did.
My phone’s ringtone started ringing softly and I took it out of my pocket. How coincidental.
“Lillian, I’m over at the Anderson’s and there wanting to see you again. Amy’s back home from school and really wants to meet up with you. Where are you now?”
“I just got out of school Mom.”
“Okay then, get a ride and come over, alright? Bye!”
I walked back into the school, searching for someone who I was familiar with who wouldn’t mind dropping me off. I looked around and found no one, all just unfamiliar faces. Just as I was about to walk off to get a taxi, I heard someone call my name and I turned around.
Erica and Jessie were both sitting in the front seats of Jessie’s Lamborghini. Erica was driving and she flashed me a smile and I smiled back.
“Hey, do you need a ride?”
“Actually, I do. But I’m going over to Mat-the Anderson’s. Would you guys mind?” I asked them cautiously.
They exchanged glances and then Erica tilted her head towards the back seat and said, “Hop on.” After getting in and making myself comfortable, I remained quiet like I always did throughout the ride. Jessie and Erica kept looking back at me and then looking at each other and then out the windows. I think they were either thinking to themselves to talk to me or not.
“Why are you going over to the Anderson’s?” Jessie blurted out, turning around to look at me.
There was another long comfortable silence between which Jessie cleared her throat three times and where she kept squirming in her seat uncomfortably. Things had changed between Jessie and me. We weren’t both friends anymore in my view. We weren’t enemies either. We talked often, saying hello’s and the occasional nods in the hallways but we never actually had an appropriate conversation. Erica and I on the other hand were alright. I’d known her since the beginning of middle school and the fact that we’d gotten all along without getting into some girly fight and breaking up is a big friendship accomplishment to me. Even after everything that had happened with Matt, we still were friends. Though everything wasn’t perfect. Jessie started fidgeting again in front of me and I rolled my eyes to myself. Maybe I should have just gotten a cab.
“How’s Amy doing?” Erica asked, breaking the silence.
“She’s doing alright.” Better then before.
“That’s good. Tell her I said hi, and that we should all meet up sometime,” Erica said, pulling up in front of the Anderson’s house. Wow, had we gotten here that fast? Maybe I just hadn’t noticed because of Jessie.
“I will and thanks for the ride Erica…Jessie.”
I got out the car, heaving my backpack over my shoulder and then watched their car get smaller and smaller as they drove away. With a sigh, I trudged up the steps of the front porch and rang the doorbell, waiting.
“Hello Lillian. How’d your day go today?” Diana asked, opening the door.
“It went fine, thank you,” I answered back politely.
“Amy’s upstairs in her bedroom. She’s been waiting for you.”
I headed to Amy’s room and opened the door to walk into her world of spirals.
“Hey!” She jumped up and hugged me. “What took you so long? I’ve been waiting for you like ages.”
“I’m sorry, erm, took me a while to get a ride and my mom called in a bit late.”
“Nahh! It’s alright! Anyways tell me what’s going on. What happened at school today?” Amy asked, smiling at me.
“Nothing really. Just the usual.”
“As in studying and going to really hard classes that decapitates your brain?”
I winced at her description. “Guess you could say that.”
She laughed it off and muttered, “One thing’s for sure. I definitely am not looking forward to my senior years.”
I grinned at her. “It won’t be that bad.”