"Susan - what are you doing in here... I thought you was staying at home lookin' after the kids."
"Look Jimmy, you ain't the only perosn who can go out the 'ouse sometimes, I ain't stay cooped up in that 'ouse any more. I got a babysitter an' I'm gonna have Lager." She paused a while, "After he," she pointed at Fred, "Returns my bag."
"I told you lady, this int yours, it's my manbag. I like my bag, just coz I'm rough don't mean anyfink. Someone else must have half-inched yer bag... but not me, I'm not like that..." Fred took a gulp of his drink.
"Ok, Sue. Go home. You Fred, can show me what's in the bag - If'n it's yours." The policeman took the bag from Fred and chucked the contents of said bag onto the nearest table.
A wallet and a set of keys fall out of the bag.
"See those are my keys, no one else would have a picture of my babe on their keys." Fred grabs the keys. "See, it's when we went to London and saw a guard in a bearskin hat outside Buckingham Palace."
Just then, a man wearing a sequined dress and a feather boa walked in clutching a pink handbag. His stilletto heel had broken off and he was hobbling...