"Alright, mate, I think that's my handbag," said Susan, the lady in pink.
"Erm ... don't you mean manbag," said Fred, clutching the magenta garment protectively to his chest.
"That has my wallet in it, buddy, alright?" said the lady in pink. "Now give it back, or we take this outside."
The whole pub fell silent.
"You would never hit a man, would you Susan?" said Fred, scandalised.
"Keep the bag if you want, pal, but give me back my wallet."
"Give him back his wallet, Fred," said the bartender resignedly.
Just then a police officer walked in.