Need vs. Want

I need it.

No. I refuse to admit that the desire for the sweet relief overrides my will power. One more hit doesn't make me weak, I try convince myself as I begin pulling off the couch cushions, desperately searching for any sign or semblance of where it may be.

I've quit before. I'll quit again. I want it. I don't need it.  I've quit before. I'll quit again. I want it. I don't need it. I've quit before. I'll quit again. I want it. I don't need it.

I repeat the mantra over and over and over my search becoming frantic and desperate as my eyes dart urgently constantly around the room scanning thinking wanting needing.

Needing.

F*ck.

I go and lose control for a second and there slips out the truth. The awful horrible desperate truth I've been hiding from myself for too long.

My skin crawls. I don't know if its from the withdrawal or the realisation of the truth.

 

The End

0 comments about this story Feed