A Few Days Earlier In the Future Now

 

Garry remained stunned long after the surprise.  This is an incredibly easy thing to do, so he did.  He remained stunned until the indignant Larry zapped him.  He used a small zapper that gives a little electric shock and is usually used on deadly snake bites and somehow destroys the venom.

Garry enjoyed the experience of the minor electric shock so much that he hired a small monkey to shock him every couple of hours.  This brought him great joy and he quickly became one of the happiest men alive.

Lou became very jealous of Garry.  After all, everyone want to be the happiest man alive!  So he devised a plan.  He called on twelve of his best friends, (overlooking of course, the fact that 13 is an unlucky number,) and devised a plan to un-make Garry's happiness.

They started an anti-Garry campaign.  But it wasn't working very well.  Door to door signings increased the damage to all the doors in town, (due to all the slamming).  Mass e-mailing jammed their mailboxes so that they couldn't send anything.  And Lou miscalculated the number of fliers they would need so that both he and two of his friends went bankrupt to pay for them.

Sadly for them, they were so busy with their campaign that they all missed Garry's surprise birthday party (which he had planned himself.)  But when none of his friends showed up, the very happy Garry wasn't daunted at all.  Instead, he went to a local orphanage and invited all the children.  They all enjoyed cake and each brought back a balloon and Garry even decided to adopt one of them.

That's when Garry's problems began.  You see, the little girl he and his wife adopted was allergic to monkeys.  Garry tried to teach a dog to zap him, and a talking parrot, and a miniature horse and even a turtle.  But none of these animals were successful zappers.  So Garry became very miserable and opened a zoo.

Now that Garry was miserable, Lou was no longer jealous and, seeing his friend so sad, decided to do something to cheer him up. 

So he made alphabet soup flavored ice-cream, sold his invention for a billion dollars, and gave half the money to Garry.  Too bad for Garry, money doesn’t make people happy.  But unlimited funding for his zoo did.

The End

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