The King's Cruller

"In that case," Scrubby spins on his chair to face the King, "I think you'd better have a cruller."

"Ack?" Will's fingers twitch and his eyes cross ever so slightly.

The King swings himself onto the bar stool in front of the baker, one eyebrow arched dangerously.

"Ack?" He breathes. In. Out. Laughs nervously, "You're kidding. Scrubby, he's kidding, right?"

Scrubby takes a long look at the King, who is cleaning his fingernails nonchalantly and his legs crossed primly under his seat. "He don't look like any royal I ever met, Willy."

Will Sparrow blinks. "How many have you met?"

"The Duchey of Roaches over on ninth and, lemme think," he scratches his ear, "Oh - and the Marquis de DVR. Does Marquis count as royal?" The scruffy man squints suspisciously at the King. "Where's his crown if he's the big Naughty Nodder his says he is?"

The Kind glares. "Nadir Naiad, if you please."

The baker chuckles, earning a royal glare in his direction, as well. "This is a joke, right? Some kid trying to trick the adult - make him sweat a little." He grins nervously.


"Ah, well, of course you'd say that, wouldn't you? That's the whole point."

"No." The King places his palms on the pastel plastic, leaning up into Will's face above. "Look behind you, baker."

The news flashes another image of the King, with Elsie Mark's voice over, "We follow the continuing story of King Nadir Naiad's abduction..."

"Ah. Well then. That settles it nicely. Er." Will watches the teen. Coughs.

"I suppose you wonder why I choose you to kidnap me?"

Will flinches. His eyes flick to Scrubby, whose paws are submerged in the mint patty jar.

The King catches the look, turns to the man. "Beggar."

"Yeeeees?" The homeless man grins, showing yellow black teeth.

"Will you tell anyone of this meeting, beggar?"

"Almost definitely." [Will smacks his forehead audibly]

The King smiles brightly, white teeth gleaming in his dark face. "And what will you tell?"

Scrubby frowns, collecting his cobweb wisp thoughts. "That I saw the knobbly king of naughty pants?" He blinks, turns his attention to unwrapping the tiny mint.

"Perfect. You've proved my friend here has the memory of a may fly." Will buries his face in his thin hands. "That'll be great in court."

"I chose you to kidnap [flinch] me," the King continues, waving a hand airily, "because I wish to know the secrets of your art. Your magic." His eyes glitter as he takes in the gleaming kitchen behind the baker and he sighs deeply. Will peeks from between his fingers. "I have always wished to be a chef. I have the passion for culinary in my soul," he intones emotionally, brown eyes misting over.

"Wherever your passion for dictating wasn't, right?"

The Great King Nadir winks. "Correct. Now what is a cruller?"

The End

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