Species 12: Amorphous Blob

While its well-deserved celebrity was never been in question, the reclusive Amorphous Blob has lived a life outside of the limelight over the course of the last century and a half, having only been spotted in a small variety of Earth's B-movies towards the beginning of Earth's 21st century. Its whereabouts since have not been made known to us, but it deserves mention in this tome nonetheless.

In its youth, the Amorphous Blob, originally from Zorgar, a small R-class planet in the Xorax star system, made appearances in a variety of popular Earth television shows ranging from the 1950s to 1980s, generally of the "science fiction" genre, but it also turned up in countless adventure movies and children's television shows.

The Amorphous Blob, the last of its kind, is constructed of, well, a blob of amorphous goo. It is commonly portrayed in the media as falling from great heights to engulf unwary travelers or starship captains, or, regularly, sitting at the bottom of a pit or crevasse, waiting to cushion the impact of an adventurer making his way to a Temple of Doom or some such nonsense. (Editor's note: There is simply no accounting for taste in Human culture!)

Of course, the Amorphous Blob's natural habitat is nothing like the way it has been portrayed in its star-studded Earth film career. Back in its native Xorax system, the Amorphous Blob lived a life of luxury as a semi-solid creature living in the relative warmth of the frozen tundras of Zorgar's equatorial region. Maintaining its affable and attractive blob-like nature outside of the frigid  climates on Zorgar requires an outrageous amount of effort, something many fans don't give the Amorphous Blob much credit for.

It is unclear how the Blob managed to make its way to Earth, where in its prime it wowed audiences with spectacular feats of blobbery. To this day, we have no records of how it managed to travel across space to achieve this feat on its own. The mystery will remain unsolved for the time being.

Since its golden era in Humanity's mid-20th century, the Amorphous Blob has been more reclusive, only doing guest appearances on a variety of low-budget cut-rate thrillers and action films. It made one notable appearance on the daytime television show "Sally Jessie Raphael" back in the 1990s, where it declared that it had 17 illegitimate children spread out throughout Earth, and another 34 in a variety of other locations throughout the galaxy. This wasn't much of a shock to followers of the Blob, as its promiscuous and womanizing ways were well known amongst Earth's Hollywood community. Many of the Blob's offspring spent years in search of unfulfilled child-support payments or other forms of compensation.

Towards the end of its career in film, in Earth's late 20th and early 21st centuries, the Blob was more notable in its absence. Some might think that it may have returned to its original habitat on Zorgar, but unbeknownst to most, it has been made known to this author that the Amorphous Blob spent a significant amount of time working under a variety of pseudonyms, such as "Gelatinous Goo" or simply the one-word "Ectoplasm", evoking memories of popular Brazilian soccer stars and other popular entertainers of that era in Earth culture such as Madonna, Seal and Bono.

Though its longevity is unknown, most assume the Amorphous Blog still exists, living as a hermit somewhere near or on Earth. Its stardom seems to have caused it to permanently affix itself to its adopted homeworld, and leaving the region seems unlikely.

Not much else is known about the wondrously reclusive Amorphous Blob, but its notoriety will likely stand the test of time.

Rating: A star of the silver screen

Status: Reclusive and shy of media attention

Right Thing to Say Should You Ever Meet It: "Could I have your autograph? I'm your biggest fan!"

The End

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