Many claim Agrideres do not, in fact, exist at all. True, the only documented sightings have been made whilst the witnesses were under the influence of Furthan resin, but there is also trace evidence that cannot be easily disputed. There is always a lingering, distinctive aroma, like that of warmed-over coffee, and occasionally calling-cards have been found, lying near the spot where the sighting took place.

Witness Statement:

    "So I was just sitting by the pool right, and I looked up cos I heard this noise. Sort of like a squelchy noise? Like when you've stepped in something, that's what it was like. And there's this blue thing standing right by me, looking at me sort of nasty like. I was a bit out of it, only a bit! I thought it wanted the lounger anyway. It was very big. Huge. But it just looked at me sort of sad and said: "We're coming. Warn them," or something like that anyway. Then it kind of vanished."

Witness Statement:

    "I wasn't doing anything! But this blue thing, really big, like as big as a Skurp Pod, just came at me out of nowhere and grabbed my shirt. It tried to give me a cup of coffee, but no way was I having that! I threw it back in its face. I didn't know what was in it - coulda been anything! I'm not taking something if I don't know what it is. Would you? And it was that kind of party. Anyway, when I got back home I found this little white card in my pocket. It said: "Hi, not long now!" in spiky writing. Spooky. I tore it up, but I've stuck it back together now, look."

    As time goes on, the messages reported by witnesses have grown more and more cryptic. However, nothing has now been seen of Agridere's for several decades, and experiments with Furthan resin under laboratory conditions have so far failed to produce any sightings. (If any experiment using Furthan resin can be said to be a failure!)

    Perhaps we will hear more from these bizarre creatures soon. Perhaps they will eventually explain their strange behavior.

Rating: Unpleasant but not considered harmful

Status: Unknown

Right thing to say should you ever meet one: What the hell are you talking about! Explain! Do you realize the fuss you've caused? Why don't you hang around and tell us properly, instead of vanishing like that?




The End

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