Acyclic Sklamtid Ghasts

More commonly known as Acytids or Sklams, the Acyclic Sklamtid Ghasts are now little more than legend. Though their empire once stretched from the Quutid Reaches to the Caifields of Tessalina Three, no trace of them remains save in the Sklamtid Monument on the barren dust-slopes of Klam, once a fertile paradise and the home planet of the Acyclic Sklamtid Ghasts.

For eons the Acyclic Sklamtid Ghasts lived peacefully, content to farm Frorgrice and milk the Four-horned Sklam-beasts that roamed the plains of Klam.

However, in Galactic Year 9005.32  before the great schism, the Emperor of Klam is reputed to have tripped over a cartwheel on his way to milk the Four-horned Sklam-beasts, thereby damaging his left nose and also his pride (which is reported to have been very large and mauve in colour). In fury, he declared all circles unholy in the eyes of Klam.

The entire planet was rebuilt in grid form, roads relaid, and all forms of transport using the wheel were impounded and crushed.

Respected for their thoroughness, the Acyclic Sklamtid Ghasts were not satisfied merely with surface change. Loathing the pleasant ovoid shape of the planet Klam the Emperor declared war upon it, and upon all other planets, spheres and stars.

After a terrifying few decades, during which the Acyclic Sklamtid Ghasts conquered and demolished all spheres, ovals, circles and cone-shaped objects larger than a pin-head in their immediate vicinity and throughout the Quutid Reaches, the Emperor luckily choked on a large, square cough-lozenge and died.

The remaining Acyclic Sklamtid Ghasts fell into a deep mourning, cloaked their blockships and vanished out of all knowledge.

For the future of life as we know it, It is hoped that their period of mourning never ends.

Rating: Calm and peaceful beings unless faced with a circular object.

Status: Unknown.

Right thing to say if you ever meet one: Would you care to square-dance?






The End

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