Two gods, Harmony and Agony, are bored of the monotony of their immortal lives. They have an argument as to the true nature of humans and decide to settle it through a little game. Which god is right? Are humans good or evil? Despite the outcome, to the gods, this is just a game.
To the mortal eye, time was an incredible thing that warped and molded the world in great and mysterious ways. Heedless to happiness or heartbreak, the planet continues to spin with, unbeknownst to the mortals, a group of gods tagging along for the ride.
A long time ago, when the mortals still believed and offered up sacrifices to the gods that they knew of, these gods served their purpose and hardly had time for observation. However, times changed, and the gods have become a thing of the past. It is not to say that they ceased to exist; of course not, for the immortals cannot die. They have instead grown jaded and immensely bored.
Most of the more major gods, the ones who have known worship and belief, had descended into the mortal realm to interact with the humans out of sheer boredom. An example of one such god would be the one known as Zeus by the ancient Greeks. Harboring a fascination for human-made flying vehicles of all sorts, he now wanders the mortal realm to both learn about them and to have gratuitous relationships with human women.
While the well-known, popular gods have fun in the human world, the gods nobody had heard of simply lounged about in their own little corner of reality. There were the twin gods Harmony and Agony, similar in temperament but opposite in beliefs, their younger brother Entropy and various cousins Pestilence, Petulance and Patience. Of course, there are many more gods, but one can never name them all – they were numerous, like humans but immortal.
“How long have we been living together again…?” a tired-sounding voice asked from its place on the overstuffed lime green sofa.
Harmony looked up from her human novel to meet the glazed eyes of her twin, Agony. “An eternity. No matter how many times you ask, the answer isn’t going to change, dear brother,” she said testily, annoyed at being interrupted during her reading time. She was just at the best part of her novel, too.
“There’s no need for that tone, sister dear.” Agony drawled, twirling his long hair between his fingers listlessly. The World Television droned on about some cannibalism incident or another happening in Montreal as Agony watched a man’s face get chewed off with little interest. “Haven’t seen that happening in a while.” he remarked, unintentionally drawing his irritable sister out of her book again.
“That’s disgusting.” she said, wrinkling her nose. “Why can’t you change the channel to Belgium? Stupid things don’t usually happen there.”
“If by ‘stupid’, you mean ‘different’…” Agony trailed off to change the channel to watch a murder, “Just watch, sister. What we are witnessing is human nature – war and bloodshed, conflict and competition. All humans eventually give in to their lust for power, their lust for blood. I mean, just look at how that murderer grins.”
Harmony huffed, putting her book away. “Please, brother, humans can be so much better than that psychopath on the screen. All humans are intrinsically good. Just watch!” She slid onto the sofa next to her brother and took the remote from his hand. Smugly, she changed the channel to Iceland.
Agony looked on, confused, as two gossipy housewives appeared on the screen and yakked on about food prices. After a few minutes of boring dialogue, he gave his sister a bewildered sideways glance and asked, “What exactly am I supposed to be seeing?”
“What do you think?” Harmony smiled victoriously, “Nothing bad is happening, is it? You see, dear brother, humans are made to be peaceful creatures. They will gladly choose peace over violence if given the chance and the proper incentive to do so.”
“Do you truly believe that or are those sappy human movies just brainwashing you?” Agony rolled his eyes. “Really, how naïve can you be? We’ve been observing this world for eternity – you should’ve picked up on the truth already. Humans are made of three things: greed, bloodlust and pride. They’re prideful animals, who want everything in the world so that they can destroy it as they please. Humans are evil.” Agony hissed the last sentence as if trying to imprint it into his sister’s brain.
“Naïve?” Harmony snapped, incredibly offended by his accusation, “Hah! I have existed longer than you have! I know for a fact that humans are good creatures. I concede that humans can be all those things you mentioned, but they are good at heart! The reasons they have for being violent often revolve around protecting those they care about, not simply for personal gain like you seem to believe. Humans are not evil!”
“You were born two minutes before I was. Two minutes.” Agony seethed, hating when his sister played the age card, “And you certainly don’t know everything, either. Believe me, I have observed humans far more intensively than you have – you can’t possibly learn anything from cheap human entertainment. I have observed real humans interacting in the real world. Believe me when I say that you give humans too much credit.
“Fool!” Harmony shrieked, “There is so much more you can conclude about the humans’ true nature from their so-called ‘cheap entertainment’. In novels, paintings, film and music lie their true desires. It is a form of expression for humans. Do you have any idea how many love songs humans have written? How many works filled with inner peace, hope and goodwill? Why must you be so ignorant!?”
Both the gods Harmony and Agony were standing now, breathing heavily and shooting deadly glares at one another. A minute of tense silence passed, and then the twin gods sunk back down onto the sofa with deep sighs.
“I’m so bored…” they groaned in unison, desperately wishing something interesting would happen.
No sooner had they uttered those words did they feel reality shift and a new presence in their corner of reality. It was a presence they both knew well, but wish they didn’t. They slowly peered from behind the sofa to see a certain young god with a curly bowl-cut.
“Hi there, siblings!” the god greeted cheerfully, waving a hand at them excitedly.
“Entropy.” Agony growled.
“Go away.” Harmony droned.
The young god immediately started to sulk. “I take time out of my busy schedule to see you both and this is how you thank me? What did I ever do to deserve this treatment, anyway?”
At that moment, a seam burst in Harmony and Agony’s sofa and stuffing spilled out of the hole like an escaping animal. Agony let out a sigh again and slapped his forehead in exasperation as he felt the sofa deflate under him.
“You made a hole in our sofa,” Harmony deadpanned, pointing at the burst seam.
“But that’s not my fault!” Entropy wailed, “That kind of thing just happens around me; I can’t help it!”
“We don’t care,” Agony said matter-of-factly, “We just want you out before you break anything else.”
“Besides, you shouldn’t be slacking off. Just go home and generate perpetual chaos like you’re supposed to.” Harmony quipped, making a shooing gesture at Entropy.
Entropy’s eyes filled with tears as he ran off, sobbing melodramatically along the way.
“I feel rather guilty now,” Agony said simply as reality shifted and Entropy disappeared from view. Harmony hummed in agreement, standing up to survey the damage their darling younger brother had indirectly inflicted upon their furniture.
“Whose turn is it to fix things?” she asked.
“Mine…” Agony groused. “I’ll go get a needle and thread.”
AN: Rewritten because the original was not too good. Entropy gets a quick cameo and the gods speak less confusingly now.