YOU TURN AND RUN WITH ALL THE SPEED YOU CAN MUSTER.

You reach your rental car. You pause, breathless for a second. You wonder what that incredible sound is. You hadn't noticed the massive waterfall next to the this stretch of road before. You can't hang about for too long. You know that the British guy will catch up to you soon. The item that you removed from your waistband looks like a white fox's head. It is now pointed inside the trashed car. Your costume responds to the call of the white fox as it always does! The costume flies out and cloaks itself around you. You know that your special powers are now with you.

The British guy arrives. He seems surprised when he sees you wearing two pairs of spectacles, leggings with a spider design, a completely different hairstyle than before, long eyelashes, a twisted ribbon around your middle, dog's teeth hanging around your neck and a maple leaf emblazoned across your breasts. You carry your shield which is green but covered by rectangular golden billets. The green represents the forested area of your home province.

However in a minute it is your turn to look surprised. He spins round and is suddenly wearing his costume. It has the roughness of a reptile's skin. He is cloaked entirely in dark green other than his face which is red. He has spines all the way down his back and has somehow developed a long forked red tongue. You instinctively know that you must dodge his tongue.

"Ah - Captain Northwessst Territoriesss," he hisses in his real voice. "I wasss not exsspecting you for a few days. No matter. You are here now. What a fitting placsse for you to end your time."

"Wood Lizard Man?" you ask when your shock subsides. "I thought you were..."

"Dead?" he chuckles. "Not at all. I am a massster of disssguise. I have been here all thisss time. Did you enjoy my British act?"

"It was kinda wooden," you smile.

"Oh, very drole, very amusing. Enjoy your jokesss while you can. That one may well be your lassst."

So saying Wood Lizard Man lunges toward you and tries to stick his tongue down your throat but you turn around and aim a kick at his head. While he is reeling from that you try to bring your shield down on his head. However he is too quick for you and rolls over leaving your shield sparking as it hits the gravel on the ground.

You feel a "thud" on the back of your head. He is quick! He has managed to get behind you and hit you on your head with his superhuman strength. You spin about and throw golden narwhals at him, each of which is a reminder of one of the historic sources of wealth in the Northwest Territories. Wood Lizard Man sidesteps each one.

It is your turn to duck as he tries to French kiss you with that forked tongue of his. You respond by whacking him on the head with a compass that represents the magnetic North Pole. You get two whacks in before you realize that he is no longer there.

You take off your twisted ribbon of red and white (representing Canada's official colors) and try to lash Wood Lizard Man but he punches you so hard in the stomach that you go flying thru a piece of rock toward the waterfall. When you stand up you can see your own shape as a hole in the rock. You put your twisted ribbon back around your middle again.

You roll sideways so when Wood Lizard Man comes thru the you-shaped hole he finds himself skidding toward the waterfall rather than kicking you as he'd intended. You go after him, remove your white high heels with blue wavy lines on them (the white represents the polar ice and the wavy line evokes the Northwest Passage) and hit him repeatedly on the head with them.

Wood Lizard Man lets off a volley of machine gun bacon. You duck and dance so the burning hot gun-fired breakfast misses you.

You move toward him. The sound of the waterfall gets ever louder. You can feel its spray now as it rises like the smoke from a burning house. You advance toward the narrow path by the sheer wall where Lizard Man is now lying. You raise your red image of the tundra from your dear, dear homeland... and I'm afraid Captain Northwest Territories has made her last blunder.

You and Wood Lizard Man slide against the sheer wall down the sheer drop into the powerful waterfall.

Nothing can save you now. Not even Wood Lizard Man's forked red tongue can lick his way out of this one. Not even your golden billets, which represent the powerful bases of Northern Wealth, are of any use to you.

Soon all that will be left will be the hissing sound of one of nature's terrifying wonders and a mysterious collection of golden narwhals which had fallen out someone's pocket during a great fight on a narrow path. They mark the last stand of two people who fought bravely for what they thought was right.

------------------------------TH-TH-TH-TH-THAT'S ALL, FOLKS-----------------------

The End

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