The Ricotta of Chris Richards

You're dropped back home after your ridiculous adventures. Chris Richards (that's the man with the red coat - remember him haha!) has sent you some Ricotta cheese to thank you for everything you've done.

Now, you probably know that Ricotta is a type of Italian whey cheese. I don't know why they were doing ricotta in Greece but anyway that's what's happened. It can be made of, I don't know, sheep's milk or buffalo milk - all sorts. It all sounds rather exciting, doesn't it, but it can also just be ordinary old cow's milk - I suppose it could be all sorts of milk they use to produce that.

Anyway, I'm banging on - I hope you like it because that's what he's sent you. You could have it on some bread or you could toast the bread or I suppose you might just want it as it is, I don't know. You could wrap some of it up and have the rest tomorrow or whatever you want really. You might be hungry and want to have the lot now but anyway that's up to you.

Once you've had it (or part of it or whatever you'd like) it's time to visit your friend to tell him what a, well, exciting's the only word for it, time you've had and you know he'll want to know all about it and the cheese and the whole, you know, whatever it was that happened out there while you were away and your adventures and all about it.

You get out of your chair and cross the room. You're starting to put your coat on when there's a ring on the bell and, aha, well, you're not actually expecting anyone so you open it up, wondering who it is. It could have been the postman or the doctor or all sorts of people but anyway to cut a long story short whoever it is has got the wrong door. They must have thought it was a different place but anyway I don't want to go on about it so you leave the building and you lock the door behind you obviously but you do need your key with you or else you won't be able to get back in.

Anyway, I'm wittering on. You leave and get the 'bus to see your friend. Well obviously you've got to wait at the 'bus stop for a bit because they don't just come at once, the 'buses. Actually sometimes they do - that happened to me the other day but that's a whole other story - a different kettle of fish you might say (funny expression that - why would you have fish in a kettle?) but you don't want to hear me burbling on about that. We're not here to talk about me. To cut a long story short the 'bus arrives and remember they're extending the 139 soon and probably ending the 13 or the N13 or whatever it is but you'll be able to get the 82 all night. Yes, apparently. And they're merging one of them with something else but anyway you can read it all on TfL's website - they've got all the details and all about it and whatever you're interested in, really.

Anyway it doesn't go all the way to your friend's place. The 'bus. I'm talking about the 'bus. Yes. You've got to get out at the station. You choose a bench to sit on - it could be any of them today but you don't always get that choice - remember when they were painting the middle one? You wouldn't have wanted to sit on that one because you'd have got all paint all over yourself and it's real proper paint they use, not like that water-based stuff where you can just sponge it off. That wouldn't do much good with this one. No, no.

I've forgotten what I was saying now. Oh yes, anyway, to cut a long story short you get to your friend's place and he's all like, "Great to see you," and you're all like, "Howdy, stranger". I mean you're not really a cowboy but sometimes you speak like that a ha ha and you tell him about, well, what's been happening to you and this and that and all about it and he tells you all his news and he's been doing this and he's been doing that and you have a good old natter and a cup of coffee (or tea or whatever you want, really) and you come home.

Actually he does give you some food. I forgot to mention that. Don't think you're going to be leaving here hungry. He gives you

a) Some pasta (there's then a seven-minute wait)

b) There's some soup (I think there's then a wait of two or three minutes)

c) There's some kind of pudding or fruit or whatever it is.

You tell him about the cheese and say you'll bring him a bit next time and he says, sort of jokingly, "Oh, didn't you like the food here?" and you say of course you did and he says he was only joking.

Here's a list of the roads you pass on the way from your friend's house to the 'bus stop:

1) Algernon Road

2) Priory Crescent

3) Turner's Drive (and make sure you turn sharp left here - I turned right once and it took me ages to get myself sorted but I'm banging on)

4) I can never remember the name of that next one but anyway you'll know it when you see it - it's that long one, you know, the one by the park - someone should really do something about that swing - I think it's a real hazard

5) The actual road with the 'bus stop itself - Fitzwilliam Road but you knew that one. Make sure you're standing outside the post office.

There isn't much more to say really.

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The End

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