Just a dream, I wish!
If only it were just a nightmare.
I could just wake up and it’d be over.
But it’s not.
It really happened.
I fear sleep, I’m afraid when I sleep it will happen again.
Every time they are there.
They never go away.
They haunt me every night.
It had gotten so bad that my mind wont even let me sleep.
I just lay awake.
It doesn’t stop the images from happening.
The dialog is always so vivid and real.
When they touch me it’s as if I can really feel it.
A piercing pane runs through my body.
It settles in my heart.
This feeling, the pain, the guilt, hurt, disgust and, dread.
The gloom just stays.
Everyday I am forced to walk this earth hating myself.
“I should have said something.”
“I should have fought back harder”
“I shouldn’t have provoked them”
I can’t help but feel I could of done something!
People say “it’s not your fault…you couldn’t of stopped it…you were to young you didn’t know better…lack of judgment…”
I just can’t bear to hear those words…they hurt!
I am the one and only one who could of done anything!!!!
No one else was there to save me!!
I was on my own.
I was the only person who could and would protect me.
Great job I did….
I let myself get hurt.
I was a toy.
A piece in their games.
I meant nothing.
They just took what they wanted and left me to rot.
To slowly die…
Fading into a dark, scary place…