The boys were still inside, giving me the chance to speak with Zelda.

“You’ve got that look again. Who’s worrying you?” Zelda asked, putting a cup of tea in front of me. I loved touring nearly as much as I loved dancing.

“Steve.” I muttered, frowning into my drink.

"What?” Zelda had the right to be confused.

I sighed, took a sip of my tea, put the cup on the table and folded my arms. “I think I’m falling forJordan.” There, I had said it.

Steve, being the boss of this show, had instigated a rule when Zelda and I had been hired – the band may not date the dancers. It had bothered Zelda more than me, for the bassist, Ben, had instantly gone for her. The rest of the boys (aside from Arthur) were single, and were always teasing us when Steve, Ian and John (or as Henry called them, “the grown-ups”) weren’t in hearing range.

“I just can’t help staring at his mouth every time he speaks. He’s not noticed yet, we both know he’d have mentioned it by now if he had.” I continued my mumbles.

Zelda looked at me, surprised. “Honey, don’t be stressing over it. Why don’t you talk to him, eh?” She smiled encouragingly. The bus door opened and three laughing voices drifted in.

“Jordan! Slow down!” Ben laughed, with Henry shouting behind him. Footsteps going up the stairs provedJordanhad run ahead of them.

“Go talk to him.” Zelda hissed, moving through to the other room.

Following her into the living space, I made for the stairs. A hand grabbed my wrist.

“I need a word later. After everybody else has gone to bed, come talk to me. Please.” Henry whispered.

“Kitchen.” I whispered back, pulling my hand free and continuing up toJordan.

He was laid on his bed, bobbing along to his ipod with the curtain wide open.

He pulled an earphone out when he saw me. “Hey.” He half nodded to me. “You alright Clo?”

“Yeah, just…” I leaned against his cupboard looking down at my feet.

“You know you can tell me anything.” He said with a smile. It was true; the boys were good at keeping secrets.

“I just need a hug I guess.” I whispered. It surprised me when I found his huge arms peeling me away from his cupboard and pulling me onto his bed 

“Come here.” He said and he squeezed me gently.

“What are you…?” I half asked, before realising that I actually didn’t care.

He let go, his arms dropping, leaving me sat on his knees. “Sorry I should of… Yeah, sorry.” He scratched his head and I stood up quickly.

Too often we had awkward moments. If he acted on one of them, I’d relax and respond. But because of Steve’s rule, I would never dare make the first move.

“Don’t be.” I grabbed my phone off my bed. Our bunks were next to each other, only my pillow faced the other way.

I got downstairs and back into the kitchen when my phone buzzed in my hand. A text from Jordan.

“”Come back. I need you. X””

“I can’t” I thought to myself, putting the phone on the table and sitting down opposite Zelda.

“Text him back.” Zelda said, not taking her eyes off her own phone. “You’ll regret it otherwise.”

I half smiled at her. “”Why do you need me?”” I sent the text, not being able to put an ‘x’ on the end. My throat and chest felt tight and Zelda’s hand suddenly rested on top of mine.

“It’s only love Chloe. The tightness in your heart will go soon enough. Trust me.” She spoke softy, and I was glad to be able to call her a friend. I jumped as my phone buzzed again. My hand darted to it, but then froze. Did I really want to see why he wanted me upstairs with him?

“Thanks” I said looking directly at her. With a deep breath I read the message.

““I will always need you. X”” was his reply.

“Oh god…” I put the phone down without locking it. Both hands flew to my face. Zelda picked up my phone, read the message and locked my phone before placing it on the table. “What do I do?”

“What does your head say to do?” Zelda said softly leaning to make sure nobody was listening.

“Run away and hide.” I admitted, calming down slightly at the thought.

“What does your heart say?” She spoke even softer. Zelda nodded before I spoke.

“To go to him.” I was crazy, thinking I should go to him. Steve would fire us both if he found out something was going on between us, I was sure of it.

“Go with your heart. Your head just wants to keep you safe. But-” Zelda said, but I finished her line, my heart sinking.

“But my heart knows what I truly want.” She stood up and I copied. “Thanks.” I said, hugging her.

“No worries. I’m here for you, just like you’re there for me. Go on; go see if you can make him happy.” She smiled and turned to catch Ben coming into the kitchen.

“Oh hey Chloe.” Ben said, grabbing Zelda's hips and pushing her to the seats we had just vacated.

“I’m gone!” I said, moving out of the room.

“Night Chloe.” Steve said as I walked past.

“What?” I said absently. “Oh, yeah, night Steve.” I hadn’t realised it was late.

I opened the curtain at the top of the stairs gently, making sure it was shut tight behind me. The sudden urge to kissJordancame over me as I saw his light was on behind his curtain, which was partially closed. He was laid facing the wall.

Walking straight past, I got into my bunk and got changed quickly. Stepping out to put my clothes away, I realisedJordanhad got out of bed, and was now wearing a pair of PJ’s. He stood in the thin corridor, looking hurt.

“What's wrong?” I asked worried. Just because Steve’s rules meant I could never truly show I loved him, it didn’t mean I couldn’t show I cared for him.

“I… I…” He swallowed, took half a step towards me, then a full step back. I took a deep breath and stepped towards him. Most people don’t get nervous around friends – it’s when you start to like them more than friends, things start to get complex.

“We can’t.” I said quietly, less than a foot from him. Just a foot away, I could easily take another few steps and kiss him.

“I know.” He said, swinging his arms slightly. He stopped them in midair and looked at me hopefully.

I smiled slightly and we hugged tenderly, neither of us wanting to let go first.

“I think I…” I whispered to his shoulder. I felt him nod. Sighing, I pressed my lips against his shoulder and pulled backwards gently.

“Night.” He said, rocking on his heels for a moment before deciding against something and climbing back into bed.

“Night Jordan.” I crawled into my own bunk, and laid there thinking.

Why would he ask me to go back upstairs to him, and then not talk?

I heard Arthur walk past on his phone. “Yeah I know what you meant love… yeah… I’ll be home soon. I love you, night.” He blew his girlfriend a kiss down the phone, and his phone beeped as he shut it. I heard him climb into bed.

I needed Steve and John to go to bed before I could go talk to Henry. Whilst I was laid there wondering if me and Jordan could ever be like Arthur and his girlfriend, Steve and John walked past, talking quietly.

The moment their curtains went, I pulled mine back slightly. Zelda, Emily and Ben stood talking at the far end. I leaned away and waited until they had gotten into their own bunks before slipping out of mine. This unfortunately meant half watching a very fiery kiss between Ben and Zelda.

Henry called up the steps softly when the top one creaked. “Who is it?”

“Only me.” I said, stepping down quickly. Without pausing I went straight to the kitchen and sat down. Henry came in behind me.

“I am really sorry about this.” He started, shutting the door securely. “I need to know.”

“Know what?” I asked.

“Second week of July, 2006. What do you remember?” He asked as he sat opposite me.

“July?” I racked my brains. When it clicked, it clicked hard. “Oh my god…”

“Kid Ego was performing in bars around Hollywood. Three young ladies walked in and sat at the bar next to me, Nickky and Phil.” Henry said shakily. “Nick dared me to chat one up and take her back to our hotel room. What colour was her hair?” To anybody trying to listen in, this would have confused them to hell.

“Black with electric blue underneath.” It was barely a whisper. “I am so sorry for that night. I didn’t know what Iwa-” I hurried my words, but he interrupted me.

“It was my fault; I was buying you the drinks.” Henry moved next to me and hugged me.

The events of that night, I had tried my best to push out of my mind. Henry had indeed taken me back to his room, locking Nickky in the bathroom, and I had danced in my underwear for him. When he pulled me onto the bed, I refused to do anything but kiss him.

Sat with my arms around Henry, remembering a time when I could freely go for whoever I wanted, only made it hit me harder that I couldn’t have Jordan.

We sat in silence and when the door suddenly opened, making us both jump, I realised I was crying.

“Sorry. Needed a drink.”Jordan said, looking at us both confused and betrayed. He grabbed a cup out of the cupboard and turned on the tap with too much force. Henry stood up but I spoke over him.

“Are you ok?” I moved towards him, putting my hand on his arm. He pulled his arm away from me to drink.

“Jordan, speak to her. I’ve just brought back a memory that’s painful for us both. Night.” Henry said, storming out.

We stood in silence. Jordanlooked at me exasperated then faced the sink again. I needed to cry. When emotions got hold of me, I had to cry them out. Silently, I moved back to the table and folded my arms on it. Resting my head on them, I let the tears flow. I had been sat along for several minutes after hearingJordan's cup getting rinsed and put away, when a warm hand started to rub my back. This came as such a shock I let out a loud sob and the hand was lifted.

“I’m sorry.”Jordan whispered from next to me. I half sat up and he shuffled close enough for me to feel his panicky breath against my hair. His arms wrapped around me, forming a similar but much better version of the embrace Henry had had me in.