He had decided to do something serious.Something that really important to him and to his family, his friends. Something that would affect seriously to his family and the people who loved him. He decided to do something crazy. Something that would....stop him from connecting from.... the physical world.

He had decided this last week.He could not stand anymore. It was too strong for him. He could not bear.

He was too weak to survive and live a life like the other. He could not be an ordinary person.

He did not want to be. He promised not to be like the other. He just wanted to be a simple person and did something extraordinary....but now....he is running down to hill.....

He knew it was a wrong decision if regarding to other's belief. He was not a christian but he sometimes, read the bible for no good reasons.

He remembered very well that that bible did not approve of the decision he made now. He knew this but he gonna do this anyway. Maybe it was because he did not believe in any religion or he did not believe in the belief itself.

He did not know what he was or where he was at. Whatever, he had made a strong, stubborn decision. No matter what, he was going to implement this...he was going to do it...by any way or by any means.

He was going to committed suicide!

....................

People always thought that he was alright. Many of his friends believed he possessed a strong heart that consisted strong spirit inside. His parents loved him, especially his mother. 

But they were wrong about him most of the time.

He was not the way they thought he was. He was different and unique. Or at least, he intended to be different and unique.

But as we all known, the world turned him down when he demanded too much from the world. He wanted everything to be.....perfect!!

He was a perfectionist. 

Actually, he hated to be this way.

He just wanted to be simple and normal like the other. But he could not. Really, he could not. He obsessed with this perfectionism. He always carried with him inside his mind. He tried to control but sometimes, he surrendered. He could not defeat the world of his own. He could not win the storm inside his heart and soul. Too much for him. He was depressed when the things turned to be different from what he wanted it to be.

..................... 

His name, Rahu Yuria, after his great-grand father, Cloni Yuria. At that time, he was only 14 years old. Rahu was born at somewhere in the east of Thailand. His parents used to be farmers and loved to be simple as possible as they could and lived happily among the other. His parents were not rich non poor. They could survive because they had farms. 

They gave birth to Yuria on the second of February, in the Summer time of 1993. It was really a beautiful place. He was lucky to be born there. Or at least, most of his friends thought he was born in a good family.....

But gradually, his world began to change without any clear reasons....He began to wonder why he was born in this world. He began to surprise why people always act the way they act and did the way they did. What were the reasons of living and eating and mating? Why we were born to suffer?

Some said, we were all born to try hard and live the life we want. But was it true? Was it really true when coming to the end of our life. Every person of us had pretended and lived in the world of illusion. In his thought, he began to think it was better to leave the world and being nothing at all rather than suffering and wanting for the things we would own for a second of the internal time. He was confused. 

He asked to himself,"Why should I survive while surviving itself is an illusion?" And he whisper to himself silently in the dark,"Aww, we live in the world of illusion!"

To be continued.....

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