"Any last words consort of the devil?"
I looked around, there were two more witches.
"Who me?" he looked at me sternly, "I like cheese?" he sniffed and went to pick up my chair.
What was happening? If i remembered rightly, they lobbed witches into the lake and if they floated, brutally murdered them and if they drowned, well tough cookies.
"Hang on a sec!" i called, "erm, I would just like to say it's been a pleasure getting to know all you oh so pleasant peeps, seriously homies, I couldn't have hung with mo betta' chums, fo shizzle," I said, they looked at me.
"He is speaking tongues, the words of the devil!" one woman shouted, "we should kill him for those disgusting, vile words!"
"Look, I mean, I really enjoyed living in such a... passionate community," I looked about at all the uggos hunched over and hissing and spitting at us, "but if you think about it, I may not be guilty," I said, "I mean, if I was a witch wouldn't be letting you kill me right about now would I?"
"seriously," the inquisitor said, "most people repent or deny god right about now, you know it saves a lot of time-"
"-see but I haven't done anything wrong, if I wanted to kill you and I was a witch you'd all be dead, yes?"
"He has a point" I villager said.
"I mean I'd probably like, spawn Mephostopheles to rip out your hearts one by one then eat them for dinner and finish of the night with some cartilage juice," they looked at me horrified.
"KILL HIM!" yeah I probably should have quit whilst I was ahead.
"I am Hayley, you cannot kill me!" a woman said next to me, "oh fiend of the underworld, help us!" she called out, "burn these demonic chavs into extinction!" she uged.
the third girl stared at us with a slight smile on her face.
I tried to edge away on the chair but the man was getting closer.
he grabbed Hayley's seat and flung her into the lake, I must say, I was just glad they didn't throw me first.
At that moment the thrid girl went all green and broke out of her bonds like the hulk, growing horns on her head, a beard, red eyes and very hairy legs and hooves.
"Are you... Germanic?" the inquisitor asked but the demon just looked at him and he set on fire.
I really hoped she was on my team.