I hit him over the head with a spade to the sound of a satisfying clunk as when a pan hits a hollow skull.
He fell down to the floor. At this point I must stress I do not condone any form of violence, it is wrong, NEVER EVER DO IT!
With that said, I had to marvel at my 'wife' as she picked up that tractor and with an ease that defied mortal man, flung it at the vile wretch at the bottom of the rusty stairs.
"Why did you kill him?" I asked.
"Oh he's not dead, he cannot die, he never will, we just like it rough," she smiled at me and I had the feeling these two people were very inhuman and that I had to leave, "oh which reminds me," from a back pocket she plucked a molotov and lit the end. She cupped her hand to her mouth, "incoming!" she shouted.
"Ok!" something faint shouted back up.
I backed away slowly and opened the door.
She threw the molotov and clapped her hands like a little girl who had just acquired a new Barbie. I backed out of the house and felt something hard against my bottom.
I turned around to see a cow looking at me strangely. I felt dirty all of a sudden.
I ran screaming from the house and then there was a flash of lightning from the bright blue sky.
Everything was sucked into a black hole and I emerged into a barren city, desecrated and reduced to rubble.
"Oh dear," I whispered to myself.