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...s-looking pen in front of him. He was embarrassed to hold it but did to be polite. He'd get ribbed mercilessly by the other chaps in the chocolate house for this, he felt sure. And her notebook was bright purple, he noticed. What was wrong with a decent fountain pen and good quality paper, he wondered? Come to that what was wrong with a diet?

He left the girl drooling over his autograph while he scurried on to join the old codgers, who were now staggering a few steps ahead of him, as they made their way to the chocolate house.

 Chocolate houses were famous haunts for any Tory worth his salt. Some of the best Tory plots in history had been thrashed out in them and you need not worry about being overheard by Whig spies: all the Whigs would be in the coffee houses plotting back again! Boris Johnson would start the new era as he meant to go on: resisting Paddy Ashdown's absurd government by any means necessary and hatching ingenious drunken plots in chocolate houses.

An Embarrassing Incident in the Chocolate House

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