1.Falsely expose them as a closet nazi who enjoys sado masochistic sex with young people in Thailand.

2. Try to get a photograph of their wife and super impose it with a picture of a donkey so that it looks like she's performing a sex act on it.

3. Follow them around, day and night for most of your life, in the hope of getting a good photograph of them on the toilet.

4. Falsely and publicly say that they took part in a plot to over throw a small African country.

5.Copy their products and sell them for half the price under a very similar name using ruthless advertising that derides their product as dross.

6. Move into the grounds of their mansion and start to build your own house.

10. Have them kidnapped, impersonate them and claim their estate.

11.Take a patent out on their DNA.

12. Write a letter to the papers claiming that you were swapped at birth and that you are the real Lord Smitheface.

13.Make protests on the roof of their mansion exposing the drain on recourses this one person makes. Have large banners which can be read from helicopters so as to attract the attention of the media.

14.Give the whole of their family food poisoning when they go to eat at your restaurant.

15.Dig a tunnel that goes directly under their house from your back kitchen and take regular visits in the dead of night.

16. Throw stones at them.

17. Claim rights to pasture sheep on the grounds of their estate.

18. Write stories to the papers about their love of cannibalism.

19.Write a "Last Will and Testament," in their name leaving all of their wealth to you.  Sell the story to the papers telling them a story of how he was moved by your humility into leaving his fortune to you.

20. Bombard them with letters claiming they stole your pet dog and that you must be compensated by at least half their estate.

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updated Jul 10, 2008 by Zachadams