0

glass half empty

glass half full

i don’t want either

i want zero

 

my bones are showing

my skin is thinning

my hair peels from my scalp

i’m getting closer

 

the knobs of my knees

the ridge of my spine

the ache in my chest

i’m almost there

but not close enough

to count

 

because they always find me

zero doesn’t make me strong

i can’t fight back

 

they put me in white rooms

glass houses

fill my veins

drip, drip, dripping fluid

bringing me back to

eighty-five

ninety

ninety-five

so far away from zero

 

and i plot

and i wait

 

they want me half full

half empty

they don’t care

as long as i’m full enough to count

but i want zero

 

 the hollow of my thighs

closes in

the weight of my skin

is too much to bear

for a bone-girl like me

 

in my dreams

i fly

in my dreams

i soar

unburdened by

eighty-five

ninety

ninety-five

all those numbers bringing me down

 

so i plot

and i wait

 

when i’m away from white rooms

glass houses

i’ll start the countdown again

 

…10…

…9…

…8…

…7…

…6…

…5…

…4…

…3…

…2…

…1…

 

and this time

i’ll make it all the way

to zero

 

 

 

 

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