your hand in mine

we walked

just the two of us,

me, feeling like I would pass out at any moment

from the cold, clad in the little black dress

my friends dubbed "the garment of sex"

all to impress you.

I sang nonsensical melodies,

you laughed, 

my heart soared,

and so I put out my arms like a bird,

thinking I could fly,

I balanced on the railing of the bridge.

After a near fatal slip, you pulled me down,

placed your hand in mine

and didn't let go.

I don't know if I was actually as crazy

as I was behaving,

or if I was simply on a role

for wanting you to notice me so bad.

You led me up to your room,

wrapped my frozen frame in blankets

and put on a movie about searching for the wild things.

I wanted to tell you that the most wild thing

was sitting right here, next to you.

I placed my head upon your shoulder,

you squeezed my hand but did not encircle my body

with your arms.

At times I would forget,

and put my hand on your chest, then catch myself and apologize,

and you'd always reply "It's fine."

but never reciprocated my touch.

And so, I sat there, arms hugging myself,

pretending I was asleep

so I would keep from crying.

After the movie was done, you walked me down the floor

to my door.

You lingered in the frame, uncertain of what move to make.

I think, you might have wanted to kiss me,

but hesitated, and to prove to you

I respected your request for friendship,

I gave you an abrupt hug

and pulled the door shut,

my heart breaking with every moment.

Because, the truth it, I am in love with you,

I've loved you since September,

and the first time we kissed it was a little taste of heaven.

I'm not ready to come back to earth just yet.

You tell me you like me, but you're terrified

for all your past relationships have died.  

I don't bother telling you

I've been through two of the sh*ttiest relationships

and yet, would do it all again,

all for one more night with you,

wandering around, wondering where the wild things went.

A night in which I could jump off a bridge

and not die,

all thanks to your hand in mine.

The End

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