Worst Fear

They told me to write about what I feared.

What I crave is what I fear.

Together it brings meaning and could

break you until it is impossible to put

the pieces back together. 

"I love you" means that I accept you

for the person you are,

so why is it my deepest secret? why am I so


so scared?

It's ironic how much I am dwelling over 

this when you're

not even mine.

And that is the most upsetting part.

I watch as you bring this

bright, beautiful

light to the shadows

but I still can't 

call you mine and

that is equally terrifies 

and pains me.

I watch in star struck wonder

as you're 

very presence brings this shine

that I can't 

describe, to my life.

I swear I don't know

how I existed

without feeling this my whole life.

How does anyone?

I crave what I fear

and that in itself

makes this all the more difficult.

Maybe I am better

off alone because

no one has loved me in the way

I've loved them.

No one has needed me like this.

What I crave could break me.

I've lost myself in this feeling

and I'm so

scared of being alone in the way I feel.

I like the distance between us.

I say I don't, but I do.

Like sand, hold it in your palms

and tiny grains

would of course

cascade to the ground.

It's inevitable.

It was impossible to think we had it all.

You are wondrous in ways

that can only be 

described as quick glances

across tables

or wishes at 11:11

and the feeling of loving someone

then having it all

coming to an abrupt halt

was too much 

to bear.

So I threw up walls in hopes

that someone

would be curious

enough to 

rip them down. 


The End

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