Quaff your pernicious dram,
Your nostrum's myriad wonders.
You are but a tyro.
An odious exigency,
The remedy is satiety;
Unctuousness becomes querulousness,
You're waiting for your giro.
An avoirdupois leading to lugubriousness,
Best immure yourself in blissful nescience,
You're a senescent, risible, albatross.
A cheque? Hand me that biro.