Oh sweet charming, darling of mine,
You are such manly perfection!
An angel’s face, a god’s body,
I hunger for your protection.
Of all the places I have been,
The luncheons, the masquerade balls,
I never thought that I would find
The man of my dreams in the mall!
Whenever I pass by your shop
Your fine form’s always on display;
I wave and you feign nonchalance -
Oh, this delightful game we play.
Perhaps one day I’ll find the nerve
To buy you a drink at the bar;
But until that glorious night
I’ll admire you from afar.
Oh darling, what I saw today,
It sent my heart right to my toes!
You... were with another woman...
And she was picking out your clothes!
I stormed into the store and cried:
“What exactly is going on?”
And that blonde bimbo dared to ask:
“I’m so sorry – is something wrong?”
I could not let that harlot win,
I had to show that you are mine.
So I kissed you right on the lips,
And my darling it was divine.
I can’t believe what she said then,
With her eyebrows so high and thin.
“Stop that, you crazy old lady!
Step away from the mannequin!”
They won’t let me see you right now,
But they let me write this letter.
I hope you know that I miss you,
And I dream of us together.
So rest up, oh darling of mine,
Because one thing I guarantee:
The next time I get you alone?
You’ll need all of your energy.