Who Am I?

My sadness is a riddle that even I can't understand so
Spoken word piece I came up with..enjoy

Who am I? Who am I?

Ask anyone who they see and they’ll tell you: She’s a friend, she’s shy, she’s got a brilliant mind

She’s a bit dramatic and tears come easily but that’s just because she has a big heart

She laughs a lot and smiles so bright she probably falls asleep with that smile on her face every night

If you ask me who I see: I’ll tell you I see the same damn thing

Except late at night when I lie down I see what they all miss: unhappiness

And when I wake in the morning I throw on that smile and fakeness that you can see from a mile..away

It’s funny because I’m afraid of clowns and always have been but I make the best clown faces on the outside --

That sometimes I even fool myself

And how can I explain what I really mean when I don’t even know what’s me?

Who am I?

And when I say that I am happy can’t you see that I am lonely?

Sometimes I wake up and it feels like someone is sitting on my chest and that scares me to death because what if that someone gains weight and I can’t catch my breath

So I put a blade to my skin to release tension that wasn’t even there at all and I’m left with words carved into my skin like worthless and failure and lines that I don’t even know where they end or begin

Who am I?

Today I was irrational, emotional

The stress of gaining and losing and the not knowing and everything in between just crashed together and finally got to me

I felt it crawling up my legs like sludge through my veins

And it’s something you can’t see but everything I feel

Why can’t the fucking unbelievable just become real?


Who am I?

I want to talk about it but I can’t and when I do it’s a rant

And I can’t get everything out that I should

And speaking of should I shouldn’t hate me this much

My sadness is a riddle that even I can’t understand so


I shout

 because someone has to know





The End

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