Why I'm Still Afraid of the Dark

There are demons sleeping beneath my bed.

When I close my eyes

their threads stretch over my body

crawl down my throat and send roots

into my stomach--

the darkness grows there,

drinking of my insides

and the seeds scatter into my eyes

until they open pedals of black in my irises--

I am tired of sleeping

and finding no rest...

But this is where I come from

and medication can move my body

but it cannot seem to move my mind

the insides of me are too heavy for medicine

to bear away

and the burden falls on me so

When I hear the footsteps outside my bedroom door

And when I hear your hands

touch the doorknob

I am holding my breath;

 

My little bird.

I am so sorry--

but I cannot quite hold the vastness

of you inside my head.

Every minute detail of your features

the temperature of the skin on your shoulders

the small hands I used to kiss;

Even now, with a year of nights gone by

the demon is only growing as it devours me.

You'll have to wait outside the door a little longer.

Just give me a few more nights to regather

the strength you told me

you could feel when you touched my fingertips

though they would tremble every time they held yours

though you were infinitely smaller

your soul is even heavier than mine;

And I cannot contain you.

Not even with my eyes closed.

 

The End

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