You may have heard of
Though there is no guarantee,
A little country called England
Coming from there is me

You probably won't have heard
Unless you are a Briton 
Of anywhere of the north east of England
Now let it's tale be written...

You should...
Know that "No" is  "Na"
and the word like is used
Quite a bloody lot
And if you ask for help
The locals will
Tell you to ---- off

This is mostly in a city called Newcastle
 Where the locals are the Geordies
but can spread across the region
Into such cities as Sunderland

More slang is Alreet ya na
And if ya do use it you're called a charva
and if ya divvent na what that means
You're a friggen dafty
'Cause when you near Geordie land
Ya better kna boot this
Or ya will be called a gourmless lad
Or pet if ya a lassie
Or maybe they'll call ya a muppet like
but They think tha way they all talk
is mint 
why aye they may have a point like.
(By the way if you know what I'm saying
You deserve a medal)

Near Newcastle there is some
smaller towns around
Shields for one South and North
and three villages called Boldon
And not  forgetting Jarrow
Confusingly called by the locals Jarra.

 Jarrow and Newcastle
are remembered in the good old day's 
 For Ships and coals respectively
Newcastle has a river called the Tyne
And Sunderland has one called the wear 

I myself am the best thing to come from the area 
Since Ant and Dec
Or the guy who invented the train
Or the other guy who invented the lightbulb
And only if my hamster has died on the day 
And I am smart, and insane
the moon  and 7 of the planets align
While David Cameron watches Hollyoaks 
Am I ever serious.
I like to write I like videogames and doing nothing
I am a evil critic
And make a point about being brutally honest 

So that's what I am and where I'm from
What about what I do
I make thing's for people to read
People just like you. 





The End

149 comments about this poem Feed