I'm calm and easy going, that's what most people see
But there are mountains of anger within me.
I tried to do what was right and now I see
Where forgiving got me.
I never really forgive anymore, but you see
I have forgiven so much without any apologies
I have let things go for so long, but not anymore
My nerves are severely irritated and sore.
I forgave abuse and bullying, in my bloodstained bed
I forgave countless cruel words that were said
I forgave wrongs that were awful I can't reveal,
I forgave them for so long until I just couldn't heal.
I was kind to them and helped those who hurt me
I turned the other cheek, it was obvious so see
I went out of my way to be kind to them, to be nice
I even listened to their problems and gave them advice.
But now I am scarred and I gaze in morbid awe
At where forgiving got me, I never really saw
That while I was forgiving them, I was hurting me
And now I dream of things I know I'll never be.