Performance poem on growing up.
I recently acquired a new catchphrase. It goes like this... " I'm 19 and I reserve the right to be dumb and ignorant".
This does not mean I aspire to be these things, nor insight these in others my age. It's merely a thank you to the way we grow.
When you order a package to your door, you often find it sealed in bubble wrap, and although it's an ordeal to then open, your inner child must have died decades ago if you do not spare a second or two to enjoy popping a few bubbles later.
It's silly... but enjoyable none the less. Like the way we grow.
You see, I like many others have been hung up on figuring out exactly what I want to be when I grow up.
Tiptoed between vocation and passion minced words with optimism and pessimism and came up short.
I thought, if I commit enough time I could find the rhythm or rhyme behind the second half of my life line.
Blow raspberries at palm readers. Tell them that I the composer control my own metre. I the director would chose what to feature. I the planeswalker will summon my own creatures.
But I couldn't do it. I've danced with the microphone for a few months now and I still can't guarantee if my tongue tango with it tomorrow.
Because every decision I've made feels premature. There's always more to explore at the risk of selling myself short, I'm scared, that I'm doing everything wrong.
But like fear itself, the future is inevitable. Whatever happens, happens whatever will be, will be. So all I can say to you or to me. Is do it all. As if there is zero distance that you can fall.
Cascade. Like this is your own crusade. For all the times you disobeyed. All the times you were told ‘sit still’ by your mother or your father, but every floor was lava, you’d rather take each leap and bound as it swung round because even at an early age your knew the ground was not level. That life would test your metal at every opportunity.
Where do you wanna be in 5 years…
I don’t know…. and that okay. Each day itself it’s another letter in 100,000 word essay on ‘where I’m gonna be’.
And on the day I graduate from all these questions you’ll be the first person I call, and I’ll give you the same answer I gave the parents, the teachers and the friends.
I don’t care what I’m doing. When I grow up, I wanna be happy.