Wanna-Be Savior

I am a wanna-be savior.

I feel the need to help.
I feel the need to be the answer.
I feel the need to take on burdens.
I am a wanna-be savior.

Guilt is my friend when I don't think of other's.
Condemnation when I talk about my struggles.
Sadness when I can't relate.
I am a wanna-be savior.

If I can't help, shame on me!
If I don't say the right thing, worthless I!
When I don't notice that look in the eyes, what worth am I?
I am a wanna-be savior.

I'll make myself relate, go ahead just a little bit.
Dive head first into this crazy game.
But soon I'll spin out of control. 
I am a wanna-be savior.

"Hold on, just wait a minute! 
I'll hold you, don't cry!
Me? *hesitate* Don't worry I'm just fine."
I am a wanna-be savior.

But I'm going down inside.
This crazy tugging game is wearing me out within. 
I don't know how much farther I can make it.....but never you mind!
I am a wanna-be savior.

If I can't save you, searing guilt in my mind.
I'll contain the continual fear within, that I didn't speak the right thing. 
The proper thing to save your skin. 
I am a wanna-be savior.

Think of yourself, they say.
But HA! 
Do they know what they are asking me to do?
I FEEL THE NEED TO SAVE.!

Selfish, selfish, selfish girl! 
How DARE you think of yourself?
How DARE you refuse to fully help??
I am a wanna-be savior......

It's a compulsion, a lifetime career.
I take the backseat, I take the rear. 
It sucks the very life and soul from my heart.
I am a wanna-be savior.

I'm going numb now.
Because I can't help anybody anymore.
I don't have anything left within me, I am empty. 
I am a wanna-be savior.

I can't fix what is broken.
I can't save what is lost.
But I can't give up.
I have failed at being a savior.

~

But there is a God.

That is called Savior.

Who comes down and gently reminds me.

"Darling, my beautiful darling,

You have no place to save.

I am called Savior, I save that which is lost.

And you are very lost.

In this game of being a savior.

I can fix what is broken. 

I can save what is lost. 

I will never give up.

Won't you let me be your savior?

I will save those you love.

I promise."

~

So from now on, I'll let him do the saving.
He has saved me, and he will do the same for those I love. 
I don't have to pretend.
I don't need to be a savior.

The End

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