waiting

I got up today.

I rolled out of bed and I drew the blinds

when all I wanted was to lie.

I showered and perfumed my body

with the sweetest scents of vanilla

to cover the gloom.

I put on that dress you said looked best

and that necklace you loved.

Your ring is on my finger

because I can't take it off

because I can't bring myself to believe

you're not here

because you don't want to be.


I went out today.

I sat in the sunshine

and read wise words

filling myself with food

and healthy desires

you would be so proud.

I kept the phone by my side, hoping

all the while, knowing

it would never make a sound

I would never hear your gentle voice

saying "Not so loud."

Your ring is on my finger

because I can't take it off

because I can't bring myself to believe

you're not here

because you don't want to be.


I sat in my room today.

I broke down and cried today.

You promised me today

would be just you and me

but somehow I can't believe

you're suffering from a car crash

or that you're off buying flowers for me.

I know.

And your ring is still on my finger,

though yours is hidden in your pocket

while you make love to another.

The End

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