Untitled 3 [Incomplete]

The whisper of bedsheets sharing secrets

The breathy breeze of mumbling silk

The silent crash of a wave of blonde hair

The minute splash of a drifting eyelash

And the barely noticeable give of the pillow beneath

Suddenly the sheets are twisting in a hurricane

Limbs are thrashing, teeth are gnashing

Violent suggestions of surreal visions 

Skin prickles and perspires in fear

Trying to recall another reality  so dear  

Okay, I need some help with this. It's obviously been left unfinished, and I wanted to go on about the process of waking up. What I'm really stuck on is how to describe this person's eyes shooting open, while keeping with the ocean metaphor type thing I had in the first stanza. I'm definitely editing the second to try and keep it going, but for now I want a finished product to start editing. Thanks! :)

The End

53 comments about this poem Feed