What really happens when I space out.
I kept expecting to wake up. My eyes were closed but I could see everything so clearly.
I was in another world, where the light seemed to be just out of reach and the dark held you in a cage.
I stood to the side watching someone sleep, who strangely felt like myself. Who was I..? I still don't know.
My chest aches every time I speak of this. My heart beat picks up like something is trying to escape this cage of a body. Like the person on the inside is different to the person that is seen on the outside.
My body does everything in its power to keep my mind from the dangerous thoughts. This body already knows death. This body has blood on its hands.
My mind wants to escape. I find it hard to figure out who is good and who is bad in this place. See my mind just wants to escape, and my body just wants to live.
When I click back into reality I'm sitting on my bed, staring at the blank T.V. I realise the war is in my head, I realise that I am here, my mind is here and I have no idea what to do.
This turmoil is both killing me and keeping me alive.