I sent my mind back 23 years ago and I imagined my mother's voice surfing on the medical bed, than I said to myself;
" was it force she did"?
- Mind of a lonely warrior -
The voice inside her screamed out so loud not for mercy nor regret but it sounded as if she hated the pain that brought her joy.....
That voice was a gateway from
the many ironies that lied beneath her purpose to the wishes of mankind. She surfed it till the waves of pain covered her up and breathless she became. My mother was terrified but to the literate man she looked insane. Slipping through those waves and hoping to see the light at the end again, she kept her breadth till she fainted cause she couldn't explain. Damn! I knew what was happening but too little to notify. She went to another realm to complete the task that she ought just to bring forth a man called "me"!
Later, here comes the dream into reality. I'm out; yet she seem tire and hopeless knowing the battle she fought but all the doctors knew were the smile she wrote on her face to show after war there's a victory to sing.
I never understood that part till I felt a different air but I knew my mother was there. I begun to cry, y? I knew I left a place of truth and honesty, a place of pure love and care, a place I had no worries about municipalities and transparencies.
But the doctor did give me a welcome speech, a slab in my face that I pissed straight. Feeling unknown and trying to figure why my mom through all those pains will bring me to a place like this, all I heard her say was, " it's a boy".....
I figured from that point that a boy either meant a war, or a soldier, or a beast, and I knew I wasn't been love again. I cried, so hard that words couldn't come out cause the people I saw had tears written in their hearts and laughter on their faces. A place of hypocrisy, I knew I had come.
That was about 23 years ago, now am listening to the voice of my mother again, surfing through the courage to live as if she been to death and back. I stumbled but sat up straight trying to picture what she means when she says I call u "son"!
Unrealistic but true, u are a part of me! How many battles will I have to fight and win because of u? Don't u know who u are? Are u lost? Where are u?
I couldn't understand but took it literally cause all I ever seek was a college degree, I sat but knew how dumb man's acquired knowledge will be when we all realized the things we ought to be.
Today, I write these words from the Peak of my mind by the tips of my fingers to express how unsharp my mentality was and how humans could be a lot better if they speak not about the physical attraction but the mental ones....
-to be continued-