TraumaMature

So much as sunk in I need release
I stub the cigarette onto my body just for the thrill
of not being reminded of the cold black eyes
that I wish to be blinded so I can forget
how pathetic I am when I am scared
Shaking in silence no hears my cry of help
I’ll do what I have to so I am no more

Those closest to me are laughing behind my back
My friends just don’t fucking care
everyone will leave me to this

I’ll rip the skin off my body
so nothing else will sink in

Punctured my veins yet again
but it doesn’t do much to help the voiced
that scream breaking my mind I feel so powerless
No one seems to want to help I suppose
it’s my time to wither in denial
Sick beneath a hidden face I want to wilt in sunlight

They should have stabbed me
It’s pointless for me to be alive
I’ll just be a fucking waste to everyone
I am ashamed of myself

I’ll plunge the knife into my chest and finish the job
least then I can be a bother no more

I see can only believe in what is not permanent
Suffering will pretend to be joy
I cannot see the difference between life and death
fear and safety are no fucking way to live
I would love a mental break down
symbolic of my usefulness to others
I rest to escape but I find myself trapped
calm but not comforted, I will soon try
a ledge above the concrete sea
I will take my first step
away from you all

The End

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