Today is The Dawn of A New Age Part II - Decision For A New Beginning

If I had to recommend one poem of my work to read, it would be this one. The pain I felt writing this, was so immense, and so dark, that I was terrified of continuing it. I posted it here thinking: "This is awful" and went to bed, coming back and saying "I wrote this?" Even now, my jaw drops when I view this poem.

Remember the first dance we shared

That night you took all my fears away

And left me with a kiss so kind


I wish I could take back my heart that I gave

Even though I've removed you from my life


And so Today is The Dawn of A New Age

A age I remove you to replace you with someone nothing like you

The only time you tried to see if I was gone was when you saw I left you behind


A siren from my dreams came to me

Saw her eyes, my longing

Still I write my poems

About the dream I had

Wherein everything I needed was always here


The dream shall commence again

That siren calls out to me

First of new true loves

Devil on my shoulder

Saying everything that I know isn’t true


Dreams show me her face, entwined in every thought

I tried to draw her, but I can only paint with my words

Its almost 2 am now, the light on in my room seems to only illuminate my thoughts.

I see two women standing in opposite corners

One behind and one ahead of me

I don’t want to move, for the one behind me has scared me to death with lies

The one infront of me, everyone defines

I wish I didn’t ask them about her.


I try turning to the one behind me, she gives me nothing to go on

Blames me for everything wrong with her life

I see the beaten girl infront of me

And wish others could see the scars


The girl behind me, tries showing me her scars and I acknowledge them

Only for her to cut open her wounds so I worship her blood.


The first thing I ever saw was a woman walking through a school hallway

The people around her don’t even know she exists.

I do, and everyone tries sending me away from her.

The girl behind me beckons me

Breaking my dream only to show me she’s breaking herself for me


And so I ignored the dream in front of me, praying to God that it would revive

So it does, and I see the girl I turned to smiling with bloody tears

Sadomasochist she is, false prophet, simple philosopher.

I try turning away, but can’t help noticing her pleasure at killing me.

Back to the broken angel I first saw

Her face is silent but shows everything.

Only ten minutes have passed, and I know she’s beautiful

The one behind me is tugging at my shirt, trying to get me to come back

My dream takes me over


The girl in my dream walks on the bus, sits alone next to the window

Dreams of her life away from earth eternal

We walk together, her hand drifts near mine


All this week I’ve heard her voice in my head

It’s like we’ve been dating for months

Her hair covers my face

She reveals deep secrets to me, though my daydreams don’t reveal them.


I turn to the past, stare deep into the eyes of madness

And remember my past

Mirror Mirror what is my future

Why do we focus so much on the past when it holds us back from our future

I turn back, the beautiful future shines in the mirror of my eyes.

She’s silent, but crying without tears

The girl behind me, my nightmare, laughs

“All your stories, poems, mean nothing to me, because you can’t act on them.

Every story is the same, generic clichés.”


I want to insult her writing, but I can’t

Because even at 18, mine was horrific.

And so for the last time, I looked at her picture

Longest five seconds of my life.


I walk forward, no longer afraid

I’ll never know if I don’t try.

The new girl smiles at me

The first time was fake

The last one was real.


Remains of my life on a alter

My final heart’s passion play

Forgive me, I have only three things I care for

God, my love, and the friends around me

I cannot see the future upon me

I cannot tell the path that disarms me

I cannot tell the cries of my own heart


My final words to the girl behind me is this


“Your smiles are only to hide the pain within

You suffer but only because you cannot feel the love you wish.

I cannot blame you, hate you, though you did break me.

Even if I told you these words, you’d never understand.

The dawn of the new age is upon me.”


I touch the beauty before me

Upon her cheek my fingers lay

And I say


“Thank you pain

For pain showed me you

Revive me in your excitement

Show yourself without the shell

I’ll be there when you say

No one loves me even now’


Be still chaotic heart

Sing a anthem to the God of life

The neverending pain feels like a scythe

Everyone must understand themselves

Safe from the labels we hold so dear


Your fire was the one to ignite me

So you’ll be my muse forever

So run to me, with your pains

And sing me your beautiful psalms

Hold me, until your arms are numb

And bring me your Sorrowsong

Sing loudly until silence comes

And confess to me anything at all


All my thoughts are here with you

My love will be with you

All my poems written by your Sorrowsongs


The heart of darkness is the thought that no one is there

And that hope of the averse will be your saving grace

Bared on your face lies all your emotions

Each one beautiful in their own secret ways

And so I wouldn’t change one thing

And therein remains the key, to love in the highest degree.

A New Beginning”



The End

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