To Everyone Who Has Hurt Me

I just need to say this. I'm going to stutter and the words will get stuck in my throat if I ever try to actually say it out loud. So I'm writing it. Because words have never pretended to be my friend. At least they never tried to kill me.

To everyone who has hurt me:

I'm still alive.
And yeah, I'm a bit
Banged up and bruised,
And maybe I don't work that great anymore,
But I'm here.
I survived.

But you have
Shoved me down,
You have bullied me
And scarred me
And left me so damaged
That the doctors just laugh
If I ask for them to fix me.
You have done your worst.

But hey.
Yeah, I've been worse lately.
Yeah, I've been struggling lately.
Yeah. I think I might not make it out this time,
But I made it. I did.
You didn't succeed.

When I finally give up,
Let all engines fail,
It won't be because of you.
It will be a conscious decision
Made by someone whose mind
Has expanded despite
What you put them through.

Because I got put through everything.
And yes, there are people who've got it worse than me.
But I only know the sufferings I've been forced to endure,
No family or friends that haven't hurt me.
Hell, even my own body betrays me.

I just wanted to say
That I am here.
And I will keep my head
Above the water
For as long as I am able.

You tried to shut me down.

But I am the only one who's going to be
Pressing the power button
On this machine.

The End

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