Lead

Do you remember the sounds

Of those codes from long ago

Funny little squeaks, beeping noises

The secret language gargled

In little girls’ voices?

 

It’s been too long since those times

Nearly two decades, dusty words

We haven’t said nearly as much

It seemed as though the years

Indeed dimmed our touch

 

Tonight, on the phone

I realised I have never called you

Just to hear your voice,

Just to smile at the way you say ‘hello’

Just to say I love you

 

This silence between us

An elephant, silently blooming

You are so close, just on the other end

Of the line

Yet so far away

 

I envy our younger selves

Talking for hours on end

Until my voice rasped

And yours broke after

Every second word

 

They say silence is golden,

But I’d say it’s more like lead

Weighing me down, making me sick

Of this poison seeping into our friendship

Taking you away

 

I can hear you fidget on the other end

One hand twirling your hair like a mad woman

Struggling to find the words

To break through the years

And return to how we were

 

“Sorry, I’ve gotta go out now,”

You mumble lamely

Your thoughts a million miles away from

Where we were

And I nod, even though you can’t see me

And regretfully

Let you go

 

But do you remember the sounds

From when I was yours?

The End

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