Behind the Numbers

Just a jumble of numbers

Just a bunch of words empty from the start

Cold, statistical, devoid of pain

Impersonal, yet piercing through my heart


A hundred and twenty two attempts

A thousand or more heartaches

But it just takes one, the person behind the number

To make me realise my mistakes


I’ve heard this news the year before

Listened to their stories, yet I was blind

For I’ve never walked inside their shoes

The broken-glass heels of those almost left behind


I didn’t know, I couldn’t figure it out

Her saddened eyes and weary sighs were clear signs

I should’ve known, I should’ve done something more

Preoccupation with my life is no alibi


I’ve never called anyone just to hear their voice

But that night I prayed I could hear her say

My name, something, just any word will do

I guess this first came way too late


Those pamphlets, those advices

Easy words for the uninvolved

I was at lost at what to do and say

Treading between soothing and probing hurts unresolved


I heard the news today, the worst

A hundred and twenty two times my hurt

My friend, the face behind the number,

I’m thanking every god that she is unhurt


I want to scream, I want to shout

“You cannot reduce them to just numbers!”

I want the world to clutch their love to their heart

“You cannot reduce her to one of those numbers!”


I need to cast aside my selfish reasons

I have to open my eyes

I must make sure that they all know

That they all are the reason I’m alive


I need to tell them all of this

Each treasure of my heart must know that I care,

I never want another face behind the number

Another near loss swamped in frantic prayers


The End

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