this was meant to and no, i do not know why, but it aches in some sort of profound way, and love it is

and if love is worth it
then why, 

i ask you why 
it hurts so much 

because you were beautiful 
and i was too 
for just a little bit

just a split second

and we fell together like dying suns 
burning each other up and neither caring 

because it's automatic in the beginning
to love easy like it won't mark you for the rest of your life
each person takes their toll leaves their scars

and i don't know why 
don't ask me why please

because i am a poet
and i have strove to understand everything 
but this is one thing i cannot touch

i will not touch the poison of trying to comprehend love
make it into sense and simple words
better men than me have tried

and failed

we all fall in the face of love 
and i wonder why a force for perceived good
is so much more adept at blowing people sideways over 
than hate is 

because hate is a brute force 
and it crushes like a fist and has no gracefulness 
it is cruel and swift 
and alike to its similar brother of fear 
a power not matched by anyone or anything

except for the fury of love
a force known for the destruction it has wrought upon history
and continues to wring from our modern days 
a strong-fingered grip on our lives 

mine just as much as anyone's

i do not know why i love like the ocean crashes
endlessly throwing myself to the mercy of it 
dying a little with each piece i hand to people

pulling shards of myself to press into their hearts
and they smile 
and bleed all over my hands 

they never give them back, though 
i give them away and they are never returned 
and i - 
i just cut myself into smaller pieces

and i am afraid that by the time i reach the next person 
i will have nothing left 

and i fear i am empty already 
running on low running on hollow

and my love is a price i'm not willing to pay 
so i'm sorry that i'm closing up shop 
trying to hoard the slipping splinters close to my chest and into my heart

because i cannot afford the hurt that love provides
and while i will never be able to stop myself from falling 
i'm just still trying to pick up the pieces. 

The End

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