TransparencyMature

I hesitate saying "I'm good" even when I really am.

Because deep underneath, I feel guilty for being happy.

I shouldn't be happy, all in all transpiring. 

Happiness is selfish, and is short-term.

Rather, cling to my security blanket of sadness and hesitation.

Why is it so hard to say I'm doing good?

Because I want to hide my fears, even when I am panicked by them.

I want to tuck them away into the drawers of my mind.

Only pulling them out when I can face them alone. 

It's hard for me to believe that anybody even cares.

I know I'm a burden to people.

That a listening ear or a gentle word is what they think their duty is.

But it pains my heart to feel the strain.

So I'll keep silent and say I'm ok.

I want to trust again.

I want to believe in love again.

I want to feel worthful again.

But I'm afraid.

Afraid that if I were to vanish.

The people I hold dearest to my heart wouldn't be as distraught as I would if they went away.

So what choice is there to be strong? 

Because strong is what I'm labeled.

With a nice bow and beautiful wrapping paper. 

I'll do what I have to do to survive.

Since I have no other choice but to. 

The End

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