Slow Down TimeMature

Is it foolishness that makes me grasp for a scrap of what I've known?

On the edge of what I don't know.

It doesn't help I'm done with Sophomore year. 

As horrible as it was, I wish it would have lasted longer.

I just would have "spruced" it up some. 

I'm torn.

Between which was worse.

Freshman or Sophomore.

So much happened Freshman.

My parents separated. 

Dad broke my heart. 

I lived day to day in this cold ice.

Shock. 

But then again.

I made my best friends Freshman.

I was set free from oppression, or at least a part of oppression.

Sophomore came 'round. 

And I thought it was going to be great.

But a cold November night changed my theory of that.

Then all through December and January.

Marring any good memory of those months. 

My first birthday without Dad. 

I slowly and agonizingly saw my little brother's childishness taken away. 

I wished for pain. 

So much pain within my heart came to surface. 

But then again. 

I found out who my best friend was.

Who would be there for me when I was hurting.

I found out I could be as strong as I needed to be. 

I found I could cry. 

I could laugh.

So much more is coming.

I know that, and I dread it. 

I try to cling so desperately. 

Feeling as though I am on a cliff's edge, and I keep looking down and all I see is darkness.

I struggle for a foothold, a hand's grasp of reassurance.

I find none.

I know that everything I have known is about to be permanently dashed to pieces.

But I just wish I knew which way they were going to be dashed. 

I wish I was able to read my own mind sometimes.

But for now, I'll live one day at a time. 

The End

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