I have decided something:
I will no longer blame myself for something that I obviously am not to blame for.
I am ready to be free.
Though I still feel a part of myself yearning to go back to that security, the warmth of my self-damnation.
But I've had a taste of freedom, and I hungrily want it all.
I will never stop fighting.
I will merge out of this a victor.
Or I will die trying.
So many unanswered questions, so many preying thoughts.
But I won't rest on those.
I'll rest on what I know to be true.
I am free from that lie.
One by one.
At my own pace.
When God sees I'm ready to accept it.
He'll start making the truth "click" within me.
I will disarm the lies I have told myself.
Freedom will be wholly mine.