I will keep my bedroom window open tonight, the stars will shine upon me and the rainy air wisp into my room.
Maybe tomorrow I will keep the window closed, the heavens forbidden to look upon me.
But who knows.
This is the only decision I let myself decided upon that I let
No thought process.
No second-guessing my words, my actions.
Choose for me.
I let myself be free in this small way.
If I keep my window open or closed at night.
It makes me giddy with excitement.
That I have this small freedom.
I don't worry about any domino effect, what effect my words or actions will have on those I love.
Because every step I make, every word I say, effects somebody in someway.
Either way I hurt somebody.
But I hurt nobody by keeping my window open at night.
So slowly, but surely.
I'll let myself go.
I'll let myself say what I feel
I'll do what I want.
I will worry less of what they think, and more of how it makes me feel.
I know it sounds selfish.
I know it sounds proud.
But to someone who is constantly pressured to say and do the right thing.
It sounds like heaven.