Hiding from the Dark

I can’t get up

Mentally, emotionally, hell even physically you’ve been rocking yourself side to side for so long your legs are numb

which is fitting, the numbness ,I mean

It’s just like your heart, fading into a numb state

Till the next time the sad squeezes it and sets free these tears

Till you break and fall and then slowly the numb crawls back over you

But when will the numb fade away

When can you stop lying about you slept

have the truth be “just fine,” instead of “I didn’t, I cried all night.”


It sucks hearing the sympathy and catching all the looks of pity

It sucks knowing all eyes are on you waiting for you to crumble

They don’t realize, they just don’t see

They don’t know the battle you go through each morning just to get out of bed

To look decent and not like the train wreck going on in your head

They don’t know the dark thoughts that creep up while you can’t breath

They don’t see the panic attacks you hide behind lie filled excuses


Do your work

Be a good girl

Don’t speak out of place

Don’t be too loud

And you’ll go unnoticed

You don’t have to hide, people don’t see anyway

You don’t have to pretend when no one’s watching

But what happens when the sad takes control and you’re in front of everyone

What happens when your nightmare comes true

and you feel more exposed than you ever have

What will happen if people see the darkness swirling in your mind

The pain concealed behind your mask

the sobs bitten back

the bite mark on your fist fades by morning

Even though all you want is to scream, isn’t it

All you really need is to punch, scream, kick, to finally let this out

But if when you start you never stop

What if it doesn’t help either, and that darkness only grows

Is it worth the risk?

Is anything worth this pain anymore

Should the screen be lifted, and if it is

will you be there standing

or would you have fallen, stopped the pain, stopped it all

Would you have given into the dark?


The End

0 comments about this poem Feed