Sonnet of a would be cheater

I saw your JPEG here today
Upon my LCD display.
You took my breath and all I am,
When I saw that your name is Sam.

For Sam, you see, is my ideal.
Oh, yes, I know she isn't real.
I want her for a dinner date.
I'll pick her up at her Stargate.

My name's not Daniel, Teal'C, or Jack,
But I'd be dandy in the sack.
The General's orders I'd obey,
If I could have you for one day.

But maybe Gates just aren't your thing.
Perhaps a more romantic fling.
A trip through time, to days gone by
Might help you see how hard I try.

The ancient Greeks, they had a clue
About romantic things to do.
So, though it means we might get fleas,
Be Xena to my Hercules.

And now, dear love, I must depart.
I just ripped off one massive fart.
Those beans I heated from the tin
Give me no chance to hold it in.

But I'll be back, you wait and see,
After I've played some PS3.
The brand-new Star Trek game's a blast.
It takes us back to Jim Kirk's past.

But first, the internet will hold
Some shiny bits of gaming gold.
I'll pop online and then download
The latest Star Trek cheating code. 

The End

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