I was so lonely before you came in
To my life, spent online having a chat:
Searching for girls who were nice and slim.
All my past girlfriends have been awfully fat.
I love the way you don't have spots.
Do you clean your skin with peroxide bleach?
You should take me around the shops.
We can buy a family size bottle each.
My mother likes you too, you know.
She says a great housewife you will make.
She's urged me never to let you go.
''Propose to her soon, for goodness sake!''
She knows my past record with girls is dire
They've always dumped me very quickly.
But Cindy, how much I really admire
The way you put up with my repartee.