He has blonde eyelashes, to frame the way he speaks
Because he doesn't use words as well as he could
He has white marks on his teeth, making him just a little perfect
He would be stranger if I did not know him, I would just walk by.
And I wish that It was so, I wish I'd never known him
He holds me up high, to drop me to my feet...again.
Whisper's he doesn't need me.
There's another, he's the world. Everything I'd long to be
Yes he's clever, with scruffy hair and I've known him since he was a child
He's with me in seconds when the tears start, and never lets me fall yet,
I just can't give him what he wants because he means too much to me
I couldn't make him happy because then I'd have to make him cry
And to see the world cry...Would surely make me want to...
Now my mother, she's an actress and she is just like me
She's crying into the kitchen table, while I'm looking at whats to come
Is it so bad that I'm scared? that I'll turn out the same?
Because when were screaming out at everything, we look just the same...
And she won't leave the house, because she can't stand the way she is
She can't stand who she is, and If I'm just like her...then...
My father's resting his head against a door frame, when he thinks he's alone
You can see each pin in his side, through his red shiny eyes
He won't show that he can't stand to be around her anymore
When she's tear stained and howling each time he walks through the door
He's a quiet man, and he sobs quietly too...
When I catch him staring at pictures of the people we all used to be
Then theres someone else who needs me too, and he deserves everything
He's lowered his family into the earth and he doesn't show the hurt
But inside his eyes, I can see he's died and
I'm just not strong enough to build him back together, when I wish...I was
Because when he's coughing because he's ill, and we don't know how long we have
I feel little splinters inside telling me to love him differently...and I can't.
So the girls at school are beautiful and I smile anytime I need to
But every picture theres ever been of me, I just don't look like them.
They are going to be so much more than they dreamed
They're going to get married and be so much more than they ever seemed
And I hate that it'll be me, that leaves first and doesn't ever change
Because my perfect friends are people that I'll always love to much
And after all these people, that I care to cutting point. There's this
Weight upon my shoulder's that is entirely my own.
I can't eat, I can't sleep. I don't feel like a real person, just imaginary, fiction
The scars, the sore eyes, that I cover each morning with thick concealer
I am weak, Because I can't cope, When no one else even knows.
That I'm turning into the person I hate the most.
Because It's getting harder to be someone that isn't me.
I can't keep biting my lip till it bleeds, holding in tears for a headache
downing pills to keep me sane like an eighty year old woman
And living as though, I am already dead.